Writer, comedian, scented candle enthusiast. Subscribe to my newsletter for a story every Saturday:
Merida, Mexico
Joined on 27 February, 2009
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Replying to @blainecapatch: it's like half of your teachers saying school shooters have a point
it's like half of your teachers saying school shooters have a point
Quoted @travisgrossi
The President and Vice President both repeatedly refused to commit to a peaceful transition of power but all we talked about was how a fly was on tv is why we need to get rid of social media please
Remember when they told us exactly what they were going to do and we got distracted by a fly?
There would be unity if every Republican voted to impeach and remove the President who sent a mob to kill the Vice President.
Replying to @angry__saint: Breaking: PGA will be cancelling all tournaments and instituting a lifetime ban of ever holding events at Trump Courses i…
Breaking: PGA will be cancelling all tournaments and instituting a lifetime ban of ever holding events at Trump Courses including stripping Trump of hosting the 2022 PGA Championship, insider says. A sport governing body doing more than Congress.
No one:
Conservatives on Twitter:
THIS IS ORVILLIAN
Replying to @cravecris: Joel Olsteen wouldn’t have let anyone through those doors.
they put kids in cages and permanently orphaned over 500 of them and no one resigned.
Replying to @JoshuaPotash: I wish I could implant this into everyone’s brain
I wish I could implant this into everyone’s brain
Joel Olsteen wouldn’t have let anyone through those doors.
Replying to @davetotheross: This is like the French Revolution except they’re storming the bastille to demand the king stay and keep starving them
Replying to @JoePerticone: the person with the nuclear codes has been deemed too dangerous to have a twitter account
Replying to @tmswDO: We're not asking for you to shoot them like you shoot us.
We're asking you to NOT shoot us like you don't shoot them.
the person with the nuclear codes has been deemed too dangerous to have a twitter account
We're not asking for you to shoot them like you shoot us.
We're asking you to NOT shoot us like you don't shoot them.
Replying to @TreanaLAllen: Y’all cared more about the Target on Atlantic Avenue than the Capitol building.
Quoted @TomiLahren
How does looting, rioting and destroying your OWN community bring justice for anyone?
Y’all cared more about the Target on Atlantic Avenue than the Capitol building.
This is like the French Revolution except they’re storming the bastille to demand the king stay and keep starving them
Quoted @staceyabrams
With new votes joining the tally, we are on a strong path. But even while we wait for more, let’s celebrate the extraordinary organizers, volunteers, canvassers & tireless groups that haven’t stopped going since Nov. Across our state, we roared. A few miles to go...but well done!
Give this woman literally everything she wants, for the rest of time.
Quoted @richlocus
Please explain to me how a football coach with no political experience gets elected to the Senate of the United States?
wait til you hear about the guy who hosted a reality show
scientists: please practice social distancing and wear a mask over the holidays
America:
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