Noah Michelson ( @noahmichelson ) Twitter Profile


Noah Michelson

Editorial Director of @HuffPost Personal. Host of D Is For Desire podcast. Inhaling battles / Exhaling victories. DMs open.

New York City

Joined on 14 September, 2011

  • 244 Tweets
  • 2.4k Following

The last four years were filled with so many unthinkably awful and cruel and dangerous acts committed by so many monsters but we also have to remember all of the beautiful, incredible things that everyday people came together to do -- and got done! -- in the face of so much evil

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I just passed two women, one selling her giant deluxe cat climbing apparatus to the other, and I heard them swapping stories about their cats and it was so wholesome and sweet and it reminded me that even when things are bleak, we still have kitties and the people who love them

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I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for the last four years and it’s been so hard to stay optimistic about anything but now that Trump is leaving the White House, so much seems possible — I’m even allowing myself to believe that Rihanna might finally release a new album soon

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The only thing worse than being trapped behind a slow walker who won’t get out of the way is having a fast walker who is nipping at your heels but refuses to go around you, so you have to pull over to the edge of the sidewalk and literally force them to pass you

I hate them

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Why have so many people become part of Trump's "Stop the Steal" movement?

@kang_megan embedded with a group of protesters in Florida every Saturday for a month to see what she could learn and wrote about it in this new @HuffPost Personal piece

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It always feels silly wishing @DollyParton a happy birthday because 1) we don't know each other and 2) she exists outside the laws of time and space because she has always been and always will be, but, still, happy 75th birthday! We don't deserve you but we're happy we've got you

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A friend just told me that his intern had to ask him how to address an envelope — he literally had no idea where to put the recipient’s address because he doesn’t use anything but email — so if you hear a sad whoosh, that’s my ancient, wrinkled, decrepit head caving in on itself

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Today a guy on an app invited me over to try the glory hole he built in his apartment hallway at the start of the pandemic and I realized that sticking my junk in a stranger’s homemade glory hole is no longer an exciting prospect for me and I can’t tell if I’m worried or relieved

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Earlier today I overheard a young woman holding the most beautiful blueberry muffin I’ve ever seen singing “ooh ooh blueberry muffin! I’m gonna eat you, blueberry muffin!” and at a different point in my life I would have mocked her but now I feel like we’d be really good friends

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Last night I spent a lot of (way too much) time wondering why we have cheese made from cow’s milk and sheep’s milk and goat’s milk but not pig’s milk or even large dog’s milk and there are lots of good reasons but the point is I should probably find a new hobby or buy weaker weed

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This morning I saw a giant spider crawling on my ceiling and I thought, “I could try and catch her and walk down my three flights to set her free outside but who has the energy to chase a spider around right now?” so instead she’s my new roommate and I’m charging her ass rent

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Joe Biden's pandemic speech was great but he could have said almost anything because I was just so overjoyed and, honestly, even a bit emotional to hear a U.S. president using real words in full sentences to form coherent points that make up an actual plan without a lie in sight

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As much as I truly appreciate the honesty of the dating app profile I just saw titled "work in progress," the last thing I'm looking for at this point in my life is someone who has decided the first thing he wants me to know about him is that he's work

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This morning I smooth talked my cable company into giving me a $40-a-month discount and I feel like nothing better is going to happen today so maybe I'll just go back to bed until tomorrow?

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You know what we don't need?

Commercials for cottage cheese

I mean, we don't need cottage cheese at all but we definitely don't need commercials for it

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Whenever I see someone carrying a giant pack of toilet paper home from the grocery store, I immediately picture them pooping

I don’t want to. I wish I didn’t. But I do

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The sunsets have been so beautiful this week — every evening the sky looks a big bowl of melting rainbow sherbet — and I’m not a religious man and it could just be a coincidence but, still, I’m pretty sure this is Jesus’s gift to us for impeaching Trump

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Replying to @SXMProgress: Today on The @MSignorile Show: Michelangelo will be joined by @noahmichelson of @HuffPost, Lt. Gov. @JohnFetterman (D-PA),…

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Today on The @MSignorile Show: Michelangelo will be joined by @noahmichelson of @HuffPost, Lt. Gov. @JohnFetterman (D-PA), & @digby56 of @Salon


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Can 2021 just calm the fuck down?

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