Kermet Apio ( @kermetapio ) Twitter Profile

kermetapio

Kermet Apio

Comedian, Dad, Husband, Amateur Philanthropist, Player To Be Named Later, Club Card Member, Apologist.

Joined on 23 August, 2012

http://www.ikerm.com

  • 97 Tweets
  • 1.4k Followers
  • 701 Following

Quoted @GretaThunberg

So happy that USA has finally rejoined the Pittsburgh Agreement. Welcome back!

Hero

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Quoted @TimRunsHisMouth

Remember when the left mocked Trump for his inauguration crowd?

Wellp... Biden's is an empty space with flags inside a security zone.

Last time the Seahawks had a playoff game: 70,000 fans. Playoff game two weeks ago: zero fans. By Tim’s logic, the Seahawks now have zero fans.

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Replying to @jessecase: Not a great time to say this but my cat kicked her favorite toy under my couch so I went down to get it for her and you know…

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Not a great time to say this but my cat kicked her favorite toy under my couch so I went down to get it for her and you know what I found? 11,780 votes.

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I’m a little worried about security at the White House right now because the secret service detail there has probably been drinking and high fiving for the last four hours.

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Replying to @DanRather: So long
Farewell
Aufwiedersehn
Goodnight
(Probably should add one in Russian)

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Replying to @danagould: BREAKING!

Fox News has just reported a deadly disease called “Covid-19” that threatens to sweep the country!

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And today Drumpf reveals that the better health care plan was inside of us the whole time.

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BREAKING!

Fox News has just reported a deadly disease called “Covid-19” that threatens to sweep the country!

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So long
Farewell
Aufwiedersehn
Goodnight
(Probably should add one in Russian)

 154,163  3,470  12,322

Right now, in a dimly lit basement closet at Fox News, a dusty box is being pulled from the shelves. In it are the “Anger about the deficit and the debt” scripts that have been buried for four years.

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I have no direct knowledge of this but my guess is when Drumpf moves out of the White House he won’t be getting his deposit back.

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The NRA, who have always said you can’t count on the government to protect you, is asking the government to protect them from creditors.

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The NRA has filed for bankruptcy, saying their creditors will “get their money when they pry it from our cold, dead hands.”

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Replying to @RonPlacone: The United States is like if a hidden transaction fee was a country.

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The United States is like if a hidden transaction fee was a country.

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Imagine someone beating you with a stick and then after a while you are able to take the stick away from them and then they say “Hey, now is the time for unity.”

This is what Congressional Republicans want you to believe.

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Replying to @SenSanders: Wealth of Elon Musk on March 18, 2020: $24.5 billion
Wealth of Elon Musk on January 9, 2021: $209 billion

U.S. minimum wag…

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Wealth of Elon Musk on March 18, 2020: $24.5 billion
Wealth of Elon Musk on January 9, 2021: $209 billion

U.S. minimum wage in 2009: $7.25 an hour
U.S. minimum wage in 2021: $7.25 an hour

Our job: Raise the minimum wage to at least $15, tax the rich & create an economy for all.

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Quoted @AwakenWithJP

@Twitter it seems as though YOU are trying to incite violence. You are not a safe corporation. Your corruption is not hidden. We see you.

😆😆😆 Enforcing their terms of service means they are “trying to incite violence.” I guess when they update their app they are “ERASING HISTORY”!!

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BREAKING: Drumpf just realized he’s not banned from Twitch. So get ready for “Rise Up And Roblox,” a show where we try to get past the terms of service screen for an hour then blame Antifa for hacking the game and making it unlaunchable.

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Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos submitted her resignation. But not surprisingly, she spelled it “Rezignashen.”

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I realize people think Antifa folks just pretended to be Drumpf supporters because Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels made it look so easy in the movie. But it’s harder than it looks.

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I would like to apologize to the squirrels I accused of chewing apart strands of our Christmas lights. Turns out it was Antifa.

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