The Onion ( @TheOnion ) Twitter Profile


The Onion

America's Finest News Source.

Joined on 4 March, 2008

  • 39.6k Tweets
  • 7 Following

Deal Alert: Got A Nintendo Switch And Amazon Prime? Well, Look At You, Mr. Moneybags (via @OnionGamers)

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Alternate Price Of Book In Canadian Dollars Gives Man Little Window Into What Life Would Be Like If He Were Canadian

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Pervert Gets 10 Yards Taken Off Of His Restraining Order For Good Behavior

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Satan Offering Black Friday Deal To Trade Only 50% Of Soul For Lifetime Of Riches

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Annoying Coworker Keeps Sending After-Hours Emails That He's Trapped In Office Elevator

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Introduction Of Giancarlo Esposito Suggests Main Character Now Totally Fucked

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This Week's Editorial Cartoon: ‘Here We Come A -Wassaulting’

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Deal Alert: Guy With Nice Suit Probably Carrying Enough On Him Right Now To Buy ‘Death Stranding’ PS4 Pro Bundle If You Stick Him Up (via @OnionGamers)

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Nation Even More Unsure Than Usual Whether To Hug Cousin

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Elderly Mother At That Age Where Even Just One Fall Over Niagara Could Be Fatal

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Area Dad Sure Knows A Lot About Local Weather Woman

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How We’re Celebrating Thanksgiving In The Coronavirus Pandemic

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New Historical Evidence Suggests Most Pilgrims Sailed Back Home To Celebrate First Thanksgiving

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Memorable Moments From NFL Thanksgiving Games

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Nation’s Relatives Call For Little Zoom Tour Of Your Apartment

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Man Getting High And Eating Taco Bell Thousands Of Miles Away From Family Having Best Thanksgiving Of Life

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Americans across the country are celebrating Thanksgiving today, though millions will not gather in person this year due to the pandemic. How are you celebrating Thanksgiving?

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‘Addison, Say Hi!’ Announce Nation’s Aunts Momentarily Pointing Webcam On Surly 13-Year-Old Cousin

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Timeline Of Thanksgiving

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Report: We Don’t Make Any Money If You Don’t Click The Fucking Link

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